If And Only If
by Anika
Summary: Songfic about what was going through Heero's and Relena's head the night of the dance.


Hey everyone!! My newest song-fic, to the tune of "If and only if". I don't remeber who sang it, but it was really pretty, and I thought I could perhaps wind it into the wide world of anime! 

Disclaimers: I don't own any of them. There, happy? Now you've gone and spoiled my happy thoughts for the day! 

Author's notes:  This is a Heero/Relena fic. Don't like 'em? TO BAD!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! 

Now, onto the fic! 

"If and only If" 

*If you really want me to go I won't make it any harder on you.* 

Relena stood outside Heero's dorm room at their private school. He had his gun pointed at her chest, once again threatening her life. "If you really want to kill me, Heero, go ahead. I won't stop you." The Japanese boy's colbalt eyes widened slighty at that statement. Not in all his years as an assasin has anyone ever been asked to be killed. 

*I do know how to open the door. Guess I'll find someone new.* 

Heero lowered his gun, and told her to leave. She looked at him once, then turned to go. < He is so distant> she thought. < Why do I even bother? I could have any boy I want! Why is it that I have to want him?> 

*You're right, you haven't always had Everything you needed from me* 

__

*So if I've used up my last chance I'll leave, but* 

Relena steps out to the gymnasium floor to greet all of her friends. She has a smile plastered on her face, but no one notices that its fake. No one, that is, except for the brown-haired boy who is watching her from a distance. 

*If and only if You want me to stay,* 

Heero watched Relena as she mingled with her friends as if nothing had happened, that it was just another social event for her. 

*I won't let you go, I'll never go away.* 

"Relena, would you care to dance?" The blonde turned around to see the same cold, blue eyes that she had looked into not five minutes ago when this boy threatened to kill her. Somehow, though, he seemed different. His face was...softer, perhaps? 

*I'll hold you in my arms. I'll never do you harm.* 

As the two flew acrossed the dance floor, her friends exclaimed on how good a dancer the pilot was. That they had never seen a more romantic couple in all their lives. 

*I'll live, If and only if.* 

"So, Heero," Relena asked, half-way through their dance, "Are you still going to kill me?" His answer was the same as before, but this time mummered in a more gentle tone, "Yeah." 

*I used to live on my own Yeah I've seen the other side of our fence.* 

As Heero held the girl in his arms, he heard the familiar cry of mobile suits outside.  "Excuse me, I have to take care of something." "Heero! Wait!" 

*I do know how to sleep all alone Or close my eyes so tight and dance.* 

He left her alone on the dance floor as he ran for his Gundam. HIs mind was spinning with new emotions. < I have always been independant, on my own. I don't need anyone...so why to I feel a need to protect Relena?> 

*But since I've been here with you I've seen that life can be so much more.* 

As the mobile suits attacked the academy, Relena ran outside to follow Heero. "Heero! Where are you?" Her only answer was the roar of a Leo as it headed straight for her. 

*Still if I have to walk out the door 'Least I know what's in store, but* 

"RELENA!!!" Heero screamed the girl's name inside his cockpit as he saw the emeny mobile suit close in on her. He didn't think, he only reacted. The Moblie Suit 01 sliced the Leo in half and took out two more before he saw the building start to crumble above Relena. 

*How was your life back then? I guess I really never asked.* 

Flashbacks of her past ran through her mind as she saw the Academy come crashing down on her. Of her father, of the times they had been to space together. Of Heero...she had just met him, but she was facinated by him. Of her mother, she had always been there for her, no matter what. 

*Do we have to return Or do we take another chance?* 

Relena ducked as the remains of the school tumbled upon her. She flinched she expected the building to crush her. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes, only to see Hero in his Gundam, shielding her from harm. 

*I'll walk out the door and say goodbye Unless you'll give it one more try* 

"Why am I doing this? Wouldn't I be better off with her dead? Relena..." Heero whirled his Gundam around and took off into the night sky. Relena watched as all this was happening. "Heero, don't run away from me..." 

*At forever? A life together? 

Heero thought, his wild hair whipping in the wind as his mobile suit graced the dark horizon. He needed to get away from her, to regain his composure. When he was around Relena, he turned into a weak soldier who couldn't carry out his missions. She had become his Achellei's Heel. 

*I love you more than ever. If ... and only if* 

Relena stood outside the Academy, watching the huge white suit fly gracefully off. < I'll wait for you, Heero. No matter how long it takes me, I'll wait.> 

*You want me to stay I won't let you go,* 

Images of the blonde haired girl flew through his mind. It would be so easy to stay with her, to be a normal person again. The thought was tempting, and that is why she was so dangerous. < If I can't get these images out of my head, I really will kill her. She is becoming a distraction to my missions!> 

*I'll never go away. The world's a cold, cold place* 

< I don't know what you've been through, Heero, but I will fight on your side.> Relena walked inside to assess the damage; three or four girls were extremly hurt, and one was dead. The girl knelt by the lifeless body and said a small prayer. 

*But just to see your face My whole life I'd give* 

If ... and only if. 


End file.
